Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

Today was my first day at Image Metrics as an officially employed character animator.

Image Metrics does advanced facial animation for film and video games, most notably they've done almost all of the games made by Rockstar. (Grand Theft Auto Series, Bully, The Warriors, etc.) It's exciting to be working on well-known titles that I know people will actually play, so now when it's finished I can show you what I did. =)

My day started with paperwork in the front office, then I went in for the animation dailies where I finally got to see first hand the caliber of animators I'd be working with. It was really neat to see all the different facial rigs for the games, and to see what they were and were not capable of. For the film work the rigs are extremely detailed and the animation is the same, where as the game rigs have a lot more limitations and the animation can't be as complex. After dailies they got me set up with a computer and I got started on my first shot.

My first obstacle was that the scene files for the game I'm on are all in 3D Studio Max. For those who don't know, there are a few different programs you can use to animate in and they all sort of do the same thing but have different buttons and ways of doing them. So in theory if you know the core principles of animation then you can animate on any software, but there is still the hump of learning the buttons. Took me about half the day before I felt like I was doing anything productive. Still though, to learn a new 3d application in half a day made me feel smRt.

After I got it (pretty much) figured out I was able to start workin' on the shot. We do all facial animation, so I have to polish this one long sequence of facial work on the shot I'm given. My current shot is 3641 frames long, which is....a lot! There is a lot of time where he isn't speaking since someone is talking to him, so that's a nice save at least. It's great though, my first professional shot. I'll remember this forever.

Spent the rest of the day working on that and around 3pm we had a studio meeting with one of our guys talking about FACS (Facial Action Coding System) this crazy system that Pyschologists use to analyze facial expressions. Neat stuff! I continued working on the shot until about 6:30pm and realized I forgot to take a lunch break and was starving, so I picked up and headed home.

It's so awesome. So, so, so awesome. Finally.

Here is my list of thanks to people who have helped me:

Emily Grossman
Ken Robkin
Dan Edwards
Karna Nelson
Sean Cannon
Cedric Busse
Kevin Scott
Randy Haycock
Sean Ermey
Martin Hopkins
Dave Vallone
Mike Bahurinsky
Alexiss Memmott
Rich Fournier
Mike Wong
Bobby, Sean, and Carlos for starting AnimationMentor.com!
Tyson, Cam and all the guys and gals at SimplyCG.net
My Parents
Everyone at AM

I hope I didn't forget anyone but seriously everyone has helped me so much I could never have learned how to do all this stuff without the support of so many good people. Thanks to you all. =)

Man it feels so good for a dream to start to form into something real.

Motorcycle Permit!

I got my class M today for the second time. My Massachusetts one expired years ago. This time I plan on actually getting the license and even doing some training before I get a bike. Riding out here is a lot different than back home. Congrats to you Emily too, very nice work =)

Today was long and hot but it was fun. Spectrum is fun when it's not stressful.

Praying For Caleb

All of us in California are pullin' for ya man.

*salute*

Deoderant Expo '07

Today was awesome! I woke up at 11am and made myself some Dunkin Donuts hazelnut coffee, a bowl of frosted flakes and an egg sandwich on toasted wheat bread. I played a little Neverwinter Nights as I ate and talked to some friends about how amazingly amazing the movie Rattatouille was. It is so good, highly recommended. After eating, playing, watching and talking, I left to pick up Emily and start our adventure towards Anime Expo '07 in Long Beach. Tons of crazy dressed up Cosplayers, tons of awesome artwork, anime for sale, posters, tshirts, manga, toys, anything you can think of. It was a really awesome time. Too many smelly people though! Emily and I had hoped to dress up but we kind of slacked in costume making due to being busy with other things. Next year however, it's on. I scored some pretty neat artwork to hang above my desk. A good time, thanks Em!

And the bronze goes to....!

I so got 3rd place at the 80's workout broadway gymnastics olympics. Fear my flares suckas!

EmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmily

EmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmilyEmily.

I love my note. =)

Black Silvia!

Today my psuedo dream car was parked in the parking garage right next to my parking spot. A black '93 s13 coupe SE with no dents or scratches or anything. AHHH! It's a 240 and not really a Silvia, but it's as close as I could get before doing any modifications myself. I couldn't tell if it was automatic or not in the dark but I think it might be, I think I'll buy it anyway even if it is. I wrote the guy a note that said if he wants to sell it to call me. I'm so excited even if he never calls. Man I love this car so much.

I'm not too too fond of that front bumper, but I looooove that color.
I want to have babies with this car.

Joshua Tree, California

The beaches of Cape Cod are some of the most beautiful in the world. Unspoiled by a superabundance of human litter, trash and towering buildings...the Cape's beaches are some of the few left in the United States that are really...well, nice. The wooded areas of the Cape are petty in comparison to the vast expanses of forest found in other places in New England such as New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine or even those in western Massachusetts. However, trees are aplenty and spending nights amongst the lakes and flora has been a favorite pass-time of mine ever since I was a boy.

Although compared to some my experiences would seem trivial at best, I'm no stranger to being outdoors. I grew up learning the salient skills of a boy scout from my grandfather and since have had plenty of opportunities to use them while camping in the mountains of New England. Though not something I do often, I have stark confidence in my ability to not die if lost or left alone in the wilderness for an extended period of time. In all my experiences throughout the mountains and boondocks of New England and the Appalachian trails as a kid and young adult, I have never had so much fun and such an amazing experience camping as I did this weekend here in California.

Almost 2 years ago I moved here to Los Angeles. It's a great city! I love how busy it is all the time, the people, the noise, the pollution, I love it all. In all the time I've been here however I've just recently become privy to a 750,000 acre National Park known as Joshua Tree. This is where my story begins...

Joshua Tree is about 3.5 hours east of Los Angeles and is about as big as the city itself. The park is as long as the drive is initially, so in order to reach the eastern border of the park one would need to effectively double the driving distance. After about 100 miles east from Los Angeles, Route 10 takes you right through the middle of an amazing wind-farm. Surrounded on all sides by towering wind turbines one can't help but to be in awe on your first pass through. I'd only seen them in the movies, and they are indeed quite awesome in real life. Although not gusty at all times, the winds in that area do pick up quite a bit at some times of the day, effectively keeping the turbines spinning for hours even when there is no wind at all. Shortly after the windfarm the junction with Route 62 will start to take you north through a 5 mile mountain pass that is 100% uphill. As the view opens up on the other side of the pass, you travel another 20 miles or so down an inclined road leading you into a town called Yucca Valley. You might be interested in stopping at the Circle K you'll soon see coming up on the left side, they have gas, coffee, food and a perverted old man working behind the counter that will most certainly ask if you need anything. If you decide to take another left out of the Circle K and continue down Route 62, another 20 miles or so will lead you to the entrance of Joshua Tree National Park.

Nickerson State Park is where a good deal of my camping experiences came from as a youngin. Crowded campgrounds, nosy park rangers and annoying clueless tourists are what you can expect when you camp there. Needless to say, not the most amazing camping situation. You get stopped at a Mr. Burns-like gate as you enter the park where you must stop and pay upwards of $20 per night to stay at a site. They pick the site for you and generally don't give a damn about any needs of yours that don't make their day more cheery. Once in your campsite you can expect a pine green Ford F150 making the rounds through the campgrounds once or twice an hour with two rangers inside peering at each campsite to make sure nobody is "causing trouble". I make it sound terrible I know, but compared to what I experienced with the rangers at Joshua Tree, Nickerson Park is more a prison camp than a park. Not to mention it only costs $10/night.

Emily and I entered the park and pulled up to a booth with a sign that read, "Sorry we're not here, you can pay later." We drove on not exactly sure where to go except for some vague directions given to us by a ranger at the visitor station about a mile or so before the gate. "Keep on drivin', you'll see it!" Nice. It was 20 miles before we came to the area we were looking for, the campground named "Hidden Valley". On all sides we were surrounded by amazing rock formations. I wish I could appropriately describe the scale of these rocks. Some of them were big enough to easily dwarf some of the taller buildings in Los Angeles, these are simply amazing elements of nature. In the middle of the this everlasting expanse of desert are these gigantic rock formations that seem to have formed out of nowhere. Simply breath-taking. We pull in, and drive around looking for an empty campsite. Joshua Tree doesn't except reservations and is 100% first come, first serve. We weren't even positive there would even be a site, but alas we found one at the end of the road and it was excellent! Towering rock formations surrounding us on two sides. On the other sides, the dirt road we entered by and a breadth of desert as far as the eye can see. We had the entire place to ourselves save for the cars driving down every once and awhile looking to see if our site was taken or not.

After unpacking, setting up the tent, sleeping bags, etc. we decided to explore a little and go for a hike. The cliffs behind us were not too difficult to climb and at the top we were lucky to have THE most breath-taking view I have ever seen in my life. Words simply cannot do this any justice, take a look at the pictures.

After some fortuitous searching and spelunking we came across a small opening in the rock providing us a view of the opposite side of the large rock mountain. About waist height and maybe five feet across, this little tunnel wound up being a really fun spot. The wind would rush up the angled cliff face and through the opening causing what was much like a wind-tunnel. With the temperatures easily in the 90's it was incredible to sit on this sun-baked rock face with the cool wind rushing past us. We did some more climbing and made it to the highest point possible from the path we originally took, and decided to go cook some food.

Matches are wonderful, but if somebody out there can teach me how to light a propane grill with wooden matches when the wind is blowing 20mph I will seriously buy them a beer. We had to drive almost 40 miles to get a lighter because I just couldn't do it with matches. 40 miles, $5, and 4 hot dogs later we had full stomachs and were ready for some more climbing.

After we did another round across the cliffs behind our site we came back and decided a nap was a good idea. I have to tell you, taking a nap on a sun-baked cliff 100 feet in the air is really quite awesome. Try it someday. Woke up, drank lots of water, and decided it was time to do some more climbing and tackle a bigger monster. On our first venture around the rock we could easily see the highest peak in the area and tried to make our way towards it. We soon came across an immoderately sized ravine in between our current location and the previously mentioned summit. I gave it a try or two and quickly realized it wasn't going to happen from there. If there was a way up, it was not from where we were then. So here I am a couple hours later fresh from a nap ready to find the elusive path to the top. I brought both my video camera and Emily's digital camera with me on my journey, and spent the next 2 hours circling the circumference of the rock taking pictures, video, and trying to find the path to the summit. After about a dozen attempts to climb different routes, paths and tunnels through the rocks I had to call it quits for the night. I had long since run out of water, the sun was setting and I had been gone far longer than anticipated. I climbed down and followed the road back to our campsite with the unpleasant taste of failure in my mouth.

Have you ever seen a desert sunset from the top of a mountain? It's amazing! Sunset's were a dime a dozen growing up on Cape Cod where we would routinely make fun of tourists coming to watch the sun set over Cape Cod Bay at Rock Harbor. Even if you've seen the sunset a hundred times over the water or even a cityscape, seeing it in the desert is something every person should do at least once. Seeing the entire skyline flash a bright orange and red as the sun disappears over the mountainous horizon was a sight I won't soon forget. Once it was fully set and the light began to fade increasingly fast, we hiked back down from the cliff and made use of the last bit of light by setting up our sleeping bags for the night. We cooked and ate some more food as well as some S'mores before it was completely dark and made one more hike up the cliff to get a good look at the stars. We sat for awhile on the rocks watching the stars and talking about random things until the pain in my legs from earlier hiking told me it was time to sleep.

The next day I woke up with a renewed vigor to conquer the cliff that had so thoroughly defeated me the previous day. On the evening prior, there was one spot I had found with potential to be a route to the summit. While I was up there I came across a juncture where I could either leap across a small chasm, or try to hoist myself up into a crevice with a deep chasm down below. Either one could have been the route to the top, and falling on either would been a broken leg at best, at worst...fatal for certain. At the time, fatigue and thirst combined with a swelling sense of vertigo told me it was best to just say no and try some other way. Well, the next day had come and I had found no other way. Emily and I went together this time, searching for about an hour before deciding if there was a route at all, it was through one of those paths I had found the night before. We made our way there, and to my surprise Emily had no trouble whatsoever climbing to that point of juncture. She constantly amazed me with her fearlessness in climbing and just trying to follow me on my stupid mission to climb this big rock. When we arrived at the point of choice, she decided to stay there and wait and see if I found a route. I chose not to leap and instead to trust my climbing ability and hoist myself up, through and over the chasm. The gap was about the size of a washing machine, but about 100 feet down to the ground. After some self-coercion and a lot of deep breaths I was able to get myself across the cliff face and onto the other side of the chasm. Once I was over, I was slightly surprised at how easy it was from there. I had about ten more feet up of climbing to go, then I was onto a semi-flat ledge that lead me up towards the top. I had 2 more semi-difficult rocks to climb over but none of them comparing to that one point. The adrenaline was flowing now, I couldn't stop, I was so close!! I kept climbing until finally I could see it. The top! One more obstacle now stood in between me and conquering the mountain. A 45 degree cliff face that stretched for about 50 feet and lead to a small bathtub-sized flat spot that was my destination. I was there, no giving up! I sucked up my fear and forced back the dizziness and started to do a spider-man like walk up the cliff face. The closer I got the more confident I became and my fear practically disappeared. Suddenly, I was at the summit. I stood up, and threw my arms up in triumph and just smiled. Looking around from that point was like nothing I had ever experienced before in my life. There's only one thing I'm really afraid of to the point where vertigo sets in, and that is heights. I get dizzy, disoriented, and my body won't respond properly when I'm somewhere very high up. The fact that I had gotten myself to climb to this point despite my fear made me feel so awesome, it made the entire trip worth more to me than any picture or souvenir ever could have. I spent about 5 minutes up there and then climbed back down to see Emily and thank her for all her help and encouragement. I think if I had been with my friends or a group of people I would have concocted some excuse to not climb that high. My leg hurts, or I would have let someone else do it first and steal the excitement which I'd use as an excuse to not go for it. Something like that I'm sure. But with only her with me, and her constant encouragement she really made me want to do it. Not just for her, but she made me want to do it for myself too. Thanks Emily! I can't thank you enough for helping me experience this today, it was truly amazing, and all thanks to you.

We went back to the campsite, packed up our belongings and set in for the what would end up being a 4 hour ride home. I will never forget this trip, and I am incredibly excited to go again as soon as possible. The desert is a truly amazing place and I'm sure my words don't do it any justice. I got home feeling more dirty, greasy, bruised and sore than ever before but at the same time feeling more renewed and excited about life than I have I think ever.